in order to Live
the Life
I am guided to live
to be fully Me …
I need to RELEASE EVERYTHING
every idea about everything I have ever had
ideas about good and bad
success and failure
shame and pain
being “the Light”
right and wrong
waking up or being asleep
evolving into or away from
gratitude
attitudes and personality
authenticity

if I Am it All
and I Know it All
where would all of this
even fit in
would gratitude even be necessary
if I am already that
if Joy was my natural way of being
freedom comes from
playing IN this New space
a place where Inner guides me
with love and grace
all the time

Life (me being it All)
calling to me
presenting itself
knowing and glowing with the radiance
of my personal choices
who know Me better than Me
voices always calling me home
into the wondrous vibrant exciting Unknown
to explore and adore
all that I already Am
for the sheer JOY of Experiencing
3D

every belief held
clouds the truth
blocks it
from ever being seen
only when I am willing to let everything go
that I know
or think I know
or am sure I know
and releasing it anyway …
can the Infinite
really be seen
can I even begin to glean
the extreme abundance arising
waiting and eager to  slide right into
my Being

I am god with skin
I let myself in
into a new place and space
I grace with all of ME
glowing and flowing
engaging and playing
with all the dear brothers and sisters
nature animals plants
all faces I now know are me
my vibrant aliveness shining through it all
i see only me
in all i am being
here and there
and everywhere

the Key
is stepping outside
the paradigm
still confining me
defining me
as “the Light I am”
the brilliance I be
compared to what
i am being asked
called to task
here now
and is even
“the present moment”
what I think it means

can I step through that door
without looking back
knowing more awaits me
then ever before
when I release and free
constructs and structures
beliefs and visions
having me believe
I still exist in between them all

my heart keeps beating
my feet are now running
for the door
clearing the floor
releasing  even expectations
attachments and all
only trust and me
hand in hand
going where I know
i belong
singing the song
of all creation
waiting for me to join
in my own
celebration
free at last
to be
live the dance
I came to be
uniquely
through me
the how
coming
i know
always
when it does

© Morgine Jurdan 12-2-2011

As long as I think, feel, act “as if” something needs to change .. I need to change, others need to change, my government, countries, schools, the world needs to change …. I stay hostage inside this limited view reality! I am still separating things into right and wrong!

As long as I create visions of my ideal world and imagine life as I would like it to be, I am still confining myself inside of old structures, old language, old paradigms. I am unconsciously creating from a place that says things are not Perfect the way they are. God, All That Is, Divinity, Creation, the Universe …needs to transform itself   …or WE need to transform ourselves ….so we can all live the lives we want to live here in this place we call home!!

What if, there is nothing to change, no where to go, except to stop living in and through these confining filters we have created and which are blocking us from being alive inside the Magic we truly BE right now?!!!  What if, the very idea things are not gloriously magical right now is the ONLY thing keeping us from experiencing them?!!

We simply cannot see and experience it through all these filters which we think are creating a wholeness and yet only continue to keep us apart.  Natural is better, holistic is the right way, organic versus chemicals, being “the Light” and not the darkness, awakening, evolving, mirroring, taking on, giving up, breaking through …. dot, dot, dot.

Wholeness, unconditionality embraces and welcomes everything, because it IS everything.  There is nothing to change, transform, become or evolve into, because It already Is that in this very moment.  BREATHE It in! I am It now.  We are It now! There is no time, no distance to cover, nothing to seek and find.  There is only a letting go of all the dogma, words, concepts which have and continue to separate us from that which we already Are and have Always Been and are Being right Now.

No need to call forth or see the Brilliance in another any longer because you KNOW yourself to Be that already, and in Being Brilliance you automatically light that up in everyone around you just by your mere Presence in this world! You are an artist of being Alive in this world!

Become it now, here today! PLAY as you have never played before! Adore everything! Embrace every trace of reality and surrender duality back from whence it came! Magic creates itself for the sheer joy of being.  Experience life as it was meant to be savored with all the flavors, making your own choices, your own voice calling you home into your unique ways of being You.

The velvety darkness of night is as bright as the sun glowing the desert’s diamond sands when fully eaten and ravished.  Find your way into playing a new game in which the rules are not clear and yet you know you know them.  You trust you will live them again into being when your vision clears and the tears of joy river your face, the edges of  your mouth stretched wide, tightly ear to ear.  The time is Here. The door is open and life is calling you home!

© Morgine Jurdan

Nature
flows
microscopic beings
tunneling through the soil
swimming in streams
sun beams warming
growing new life
the magic
is already here
in the food i eat
woven into my clothes
magic flowing
wherever I go
and go and go
elation
alive within its creation
its breath
breathing me
being the air
I  inhale
exhale

through its eyes i see
feeling its heart beating
inside mine
moving my legs
intoxicated
by my beauty
exquisite
it in wonder
it moves with me
it
moving through
the fabric of my body
freely exploring
the magic

i am that
into which i pour myself
expanding contracting
becoming letting go
there is no space
in which i
cease to exist
i am the balance
not  yet experienced
the pause
between breaths

memories
reside inside all cells
alive and thriving
ignored and not explored
arising with my breath
always being invited
to dance with life
i was lost
attempting
to create my own
when home
was always surrounding me
inviting me to dance
into every present moment
nothing “to do”
only say
yes

© Morgine Jurdan 8-26-2011

i step aside and in
inside them all
no longer falling out
and in
nothing to lose or win
any longer
no stronger
weaker
seeking

creation
speaking itself
between the lines
our dividing
always naming
games played
survival
of the songs
of right and wrong
says whom

only choices
different voices
names and letters
defending territories
the illusions
of confusion
there is no them and us
nothing to touch
except
emptiness and space
around the thing
without wings
it cannot fly away
made real with thoughts
stories confined in minds
intangible tangibles
entangled blinded
defining their lives
around illusions
confused
giving birth
and it is
without the storms
free to just be

a mountain
a home to many
nourishment growing
rivers flowing
a challenge to others
an obstacle
the great wall
whose glance
which dance
wins the war
illusions all
the wall does not exist
it does not cease to be
yet never free
illusions created
around it
confine and define it
always hiding
its truth

the story lingers
fingers upon my keys
letters of light
upon a screen
ink and lead dead
no longer marry the wood
paper of the past
cast aside
bodies of trees
allowed to grow
sowing new seeds
good bad
peaceful sad
is there a truth
in the sea of thoughts and trees
do all the parts of my computer
free the trees to grow
could i ever know
the truth
in which which I try
and free my mind
insane
the game i play
with myself

now instead
i breathe
into the freedom
of living
in the fullness of everything
the emptiness of it all
where my heart seeks nothing
and knows it all
clarity arising
knowing only
itself

oh what freedom
to eat food
savor flavors
outside the mind
eager to chew
to pieces
shred with delight
every bite
into the good bad right wrong
the songs never ending
doctors and diets
the planet organizations
all wanting a piece of me
confusion and stress
the old digesters

not today
instead i play
inside the freedom
of it all
and nothing
in the moment
savoring the flavors
awareness
breathing me home
one breath at a time

oh god
to be free
to be me
could i but live
in this dream
is there hope
a place in which
i ceased to value
all things
splitting apart
the whole
into pieces
as if
it were mine
to control
have i done this to myself
as well
is this where i dance
the new dance
free of life’s trances
now knowing
going forward
into truth
involves dissolving
myself
into nothingness
and everything

whose voice
do i hear
appearing behind the mirror
those defining glances
the trance of not thin enough
beauty defined
dissected then respected
magazines and books and looks
knives in my eyes
bleeding I lie
upon the ground
of others battlefields
the bloody stains
burying the truth
how many times
have i wanted to die
unable to meet
the unrealistic dreams
of others
i used to define myself

how can Uniqueness
Authenticity
be measured by any scale
without confining
limitlessness
inside boxes
unlimited
is beyond measure
the real treasure
of life
each tree
each leaf
each snowflake
each ant
each whale
each me
one of a kind
always transforming
the scene

the ocean’s
ever transforming waves
wash free my mind
their roaring voices
deaden the noise of my
fingering the keys of my computer
sitting in the car
breezes blowing through  me

i am not a name
i play no game
never the same
i am that i am
the sea
the ocean
calling me
regardless the world
the culture
the song
words no longer define
i call myself nothing
rearranging myself
only for me
free just to be
in the moment
flowing freely

look beyond words
live the essence of you
free of words
confinements of any kind
like the breeze
flow like the leaves
life carries you along
the song is yours
the tears
beholding your own truth

there are moments now
in which i wonder
how many times have i lived
my truth
how many moments
have i been held prisoner
living someone else’s ideas
of perfection
proper dress
eating what someone else
thinks
tastes good
is good for me
my body and my uniquedness
whose standards am i attempting to live up to
whose definitions
am i hanging myself by
killing myself with
denying
my own uniqueness
not living my authenticity
there is no one else
wearing my face
my body
my own precious presence
i need to create my own
eating and sleeping
laughing and crying
living and dying rules of play
live myself
for myself
and no one else
do i get sick because of me
of the ideas i have eaten from
someone else’s book of rules
have i taken their beliefs
and made them my own
i know when i eat in public
i am always feeling the gaze
even if not there
someone is watching and judging me
i will be free now
no longer caring
whose staring
for only my eyes
matter
creating the space
of nothing
of emptiness
into which I pour myself and arise
ever dancing
with what isi live inside my own prison
its time to walk through a new door
one which asks ME
what feels good to ME
what tastes good to ME
what looks good to ME

angels guides helpers god
before turning off the computer
do you have anymore suggestions about living my own life for a change  how to begin  where to begin i have no idea where i have been myself and where i have been otehrs  i am reallly not sure  i am asking for guidance before i leave  before my batteries are used up  do i need to take a walk rest go to the bathroom  ca you guide me take photos i have not taken any i believe

am i confined by words
which are not mine
a language
definitions created
inside another place and time
ages ago
defining me as if
i belong to it
and it to me
I long to be free

who can i be
in a sea of cultures
the din of societal norms
conformity shaping me
pleasing to whose eye
who binds me in chains
rearranging those lines
defining me through their own
perspectives
their points of view
the hue through which I am always seen

there is no longer any space
for me to strip naked
stand in my uniqueness
shine me
for the world to see
the glasses of history
of ages
have thick
scratched lenses
they see only
what they choose to see
and me
I am imprisoned in their views
unless I choose
to release them

what does my size
have to do with anything at all
whose call is it
to press me into their boxes
marked
lazy obese unhealthy sick
uncaring out of control
unfit
unfit for what

perhaps
my playing small
all came to be
because i was not being me
seen naked
authentically free
instead
i covered up my heart
with those banners and badges
lies
tattooed
deeply into my skin
pretending and living
other people’s standards
their judgments
becoming my own prison
living their visions
as my own
feeling all alone
home inside
someone else’s house

the mouse
eating away the lies
clearing my eyes
no one’s else’s truth
is my own
my home is mine alone
one of a kind original
each piece of life
a blade of grass, a leaf
a snowflake, a human being
born
never to be repeated
never the same
what game have I been playing
insane
allowing letters upon a page
someone else’s rage
to steal the joy
of my own preciousness
which is mine alone
to own
and cherish

a new day
dawns
sun sparkles upon the waves
i am here to play
as me
who shall I be
free in this moment
to choose
my own way
washing away the stains
of others’ dreams
for me
removing tattoos
uncovering a radiance
only I can share
bare naked and free
me being me
free at last
© Morgine Jurdan 8/24/2011

and so the soul lingers
amidst wet strands of green
moistening my skin
feet becoming the grass
like glass
i see through
into
the ground
I pound upon
the soil
toiling
turning over
and over
seeds spinning
coming alive
dancing in the night
up up up
through it all
and seeing me
it gladly bends over
between my toes
grass inhaling my skin

i breathe life now
it breathes me
freeing each other
allowing space
to grace each face
mirrors
everything i see
me in myriads of form
no norm anymore
releasing finally
all concepts, ideas, thoughts
constructs and structures
voices within and without
doubting, wanting, trying
attempting to control
anything and everything
there is
only NOW to greet me
free at last
allowing life to inform me
through everything
consciousness alive inside
every particle of creation
the flower guides my day
the butterfly gives me my lessons
the wind guides my path
the sun embraces me
I am home at last
surrendering into the unknown
of the known place
where all life is within and without
nothing to find
nothing to be
except me
authentically
Morgine © July 24, 2011

there sits inside me
waiting to blossom
all the love
in the world
holding itself open
willing and eager
to play this day
with me
forever
i can open into its
loving arms
allow them to embrace
me
and take me away
into a new world
play in different places
leaving traces
of the old behind
the divine and i are one
I am the I
i have been waiting for
the love I am
is always
and forever
dancing in my soul
never lost
always here
waiting
calling me home
into myself
freedom and peace
joy and magic
await me today
and every day
set me free
set you free
be me
the love which i am
and we will
go home
together
as the one
which we are
ever to be
loving freely
home
at last

© Morgine
7-16-2011

infinite love
just that
seamless endless forever
embraces everything
denies nothing
erases all definitions
no good or bad
no right or wrong
everything is perfect
it just IS ….
hugging or beating are equally embraced
as the CHOICES I make
forgiveness is not “needed”
guilt is not “needed”
no longer necessary
optional choices
choices I make
through the eyes of the infinite
through those unconditional eyes
all marks are erased
only perfection is seen
embracing all I am and ever will be
provides the true “freedom”
to be
just me
the God I AM

© Morgine Jurdan
3-10-2011

me

loving
i am all
inside the cells
the well is empty
parched
overflowing
dripping
the middle and the ends
never finding each other
unwinding
unraveling
the place
this mess
is me
seeking peace
the bottom of the well
i fell inside
hiding
from my own light
darkness
i painted over
my eyes
my own brilliance
hard to bear
the stones
i carved alone
bore only my name
Morgine © 3-15-2011

rising
slicing the cocoon
the bloom opens
i fly free
dripping iridescence
wings
not knowing how
breathing trust
the air softly
carries me away
calling my name
*************

love’s hostage
infinite circles
embrace me
take me inside
dancing
trance like vision
i prison myself
inside the vulnerability
giving without receiving
joyful dances
love’s grace
leaves traces
everywhere
asking nothing
in return
the burning desire
only to give
to share
bare threads
or rich garments of pearls
joy filled twirling lights
nights’ treasures
love’s infinite face
reflected
in every cell
of my being
i am home …
© Morgine Jurdan

Animals love without conditions for the sheer joy loving brings them. There are no conditions to be met. Even when I have fallen down in my promises, they rise up to greet me, forgiving the past and beginning fresh, here, now.  What can I learn from them?

Perhaps animals have more relaxing lives because they choose to experience them differently?  What if I changed my perspective and loved everything without conditions, embracing everything and resisting nothing?  What if I began accepting whatever happened was perfect and in alignment with my life and my purpose and I engaged life from this place instead?

Usually I am so engrossed in my thoughts, my actions are predicated by my past. I have categorized my life into little neat compartments of good, bad, right, wrong, beneficial, harmful … you fill in the blanks, which allows me to no longer even have to think at all! I become almost robotic in my habitual patterns and responses.

What if I engage with something new? My partner had a transforming moment in his life and now is a totally different person?  An employee I was in conflict with before, is now totally in alignment with a project we are working on together? How could this old robotic way of thinking and responding detect a change? How often have I judged a person or situation by what I “thought” they were, instead of being truly in the moment with the “truth” of who they are now,  here today? Am I living my life with “what IS true” or “what was true”? What points of view are running my life?

What if I simply have no judgment any longer? I am going to love them regardless of anything they have said or done, or whatever they say or do?   At first glance I feel I will become a doormat to brush your feet upon or walk over, however, this is not true. Loving without conditions never prevents me from making choices. Animals make choices about who they want to engage with and whom they want to avoid.  They might choose to play one moment and stop the next. Their kind of love allows choices to be made only in the ever present now.

I wonder how best to inspire people to different ways of seeing and experiencing our beautiful animal friends?  Loving them and seeing them as wise and intelligent is not really something new.  Many books exist about such evidence and programs have appeared on television validating such information.  Perhaps it is the other end of the spectrum we need to consider?
Have you ever been so very angry and frustrated you took out your anger on something or someone? Have you ever yelled and screamed at someone or something, simply because you did not know what else to do? I have. I have seen many men scream at their cars and throw tools all over the place!!  I remember saying and doing things I wish I could take back!!  A friend of mine once beat a bunk bed with a glass chandelier he ripped off the ceiling and threw a mug through a window.  We can often understand such actions. What some of us cannot understand, however, is when people intentionally, or unintentionally, take their anger out on another person, a child, or an animal friend, or something like a car, a building, or a restroom door perhaps! .  As I get older, my compassion and wisdom deepens and I realize when you are caught up inside your anger and frustration, sometimes it doesn’t matter “what IT is”!  You just use whatever might be convenient or close at hand!

I encountered various kinds of things like this in the 60’s with racial issues and the peace movement. No one taught us how to deal with conflicts, stress and fear when they came to the surface!  Two young men drove through our neighborhood in a convertible car with the top down, laughing and music playing loudly, throwing raw meat into yards where they saw dogs. It had strychnine in it and the dogs died almost instantly. I never understood the meaning of their actions as my beloved friend died in my arms. Earlier someone stole my dog because white shepherds were highly prized back then.  The woman called the number on his tag to tell me she was giving him a good home and hung up! Why would people do things like this?  Why do people do cruel things to animals like inflict pain, abandon them to starve and so on?

I believe the solution lies inside the realization both sides are suffering from similar problems.  People in labs often believe they are “fighting to save peoples lives” and are willing to make any sacrifice necessary, even if animals must suffer and die in the process.  Human Beings in war sacrifice themselves for each other.  Other people fight to save animals lives and to prevent animals from suffering.  Yet hating and fighting each other only causes more of what we are striving to eliminate, the anger and frustration which leads to the very actions we desire to change.

Perhaps as the animals have taught me, we can simply give Love instead of hating our enemies and wanting to “beat some sense into them!” Those kinds of actions do not promote healing, they inspire separation. Most often those who are beaten as children are starving for love and the only role models they had were people who beat them!

Perhaps Love might stand a chance at making a bigger movement?  Loving what is, loving those who are angry, lost, unknown and unappreciated, confused and alone. Perhaps giving what we all want so much, to just be loved for who we are, might begin to transform our world, one person, one animal at a time?

Perhaps beginning a campaign to “share the love” of animals and inspire people to merely send love to all animals in labs, those who become our food, and those who are abused, might just be a place to begin?  Certainly people would be More Inspired to such a project or campaign than signing up to fight yet another lab or meat production facility and yelling and screaming mean and hateful things to the other side.  Asking people to send loving thoughts and prayers gets them more aligned with the animals.  They think more about them. They begin to spend just a moment or two wondering “if” the animals are living happy lives? Maybe they need to put more time into loving their own animal friends and thinking about how animals are treated in labs and factories and at breeders??  It is just an idea.  One I believe more people might be inspired to join. Sometimes a big change begins with something which seems too small and simple to even make a difference, and yet it transforms our world.  Just planting a seed.

I do hope someday soon, Human Beings can begin to use their great brilliance and wisdom to more deeply connect with Nature and all her millions of creatures.  Take time to Give One Moment of Gratitude every day to our beloved planet and all of nature for providing us with All the resources we need to create every single thing we eat, use, wear, live in, drive upon, fly in, and on and on. The sun and moon and stars do not charge us a thing. The waters flow freely. The ground grows our crops regardless of the ways we endlessly abuse and misuse it.  We tear down the forests, pollute the waters and just complain there is never “enough” of what we desire or need or want.

My solution is to Love Without Conditions, because I truly believe that is what humans need most of all. When we are loved and can learn to love fully, we appreciate ourselves and each other. We see and experience more of the truth. We connect more deeply with each other, with nature, animals and all of life. Real love, given freely without conditions, for the sheer joy it brings, does no harm and can often create miracles, which humans are sometimes not capable of creating alone. We need more love and it costs me nothing to give love and share and expand love more fully into each and every day.

Loving always, Morgine

© Morgine Jurdan 5-15-2011

breathe freshness
into each new day
leave old ways behind
bring new things to play
unwind old patterns
weave a new cloth
unravel the past
washing each day new

love embraces all
resists nothing
welcomes all to its door
love yourself
through every moment
you beloved
your friend
your world

change your perspective
and anything changes
uncover the beautiful
point of view
between you and yourself
or another
or a greater
world view
© Morgine Jurdan