Hidden

oh the kiss of truth
the emptiness i feel
the fullness overflowing
the knowing
of knowing
everything and nothing
combined
no longer confined
creation
creating
the form
undivided
by the songs
of right or wrong
unseparated
not tossed to and fro
the woes
of different places
the traces of faces
poised in different truths
wars, scars, jars
half empty
half full
one creation
no longer itself

i step aside and in
inside them all
no longer falling out
and in
nothing to lose or win
any longer
no stronger
weaker
seeking

creation
speaking itself
between the lines
our dividing
always naming
games played
survival
of the songs
of right and wrong
says whom

only choices
different voices
names and letters
defending territories
the illusions
of confusion
there is no them and us
nothing to touch
except
emptiness and space
around the thing
without wings
it cannot fly away
made real with thoughts
stories confined in minds
intangible tangibles
entangled blinded
defining their lives
around illusions
confused
giving birth
and it is
without the storms
free to just be

a mountain
a home to many
nourishment growing
rivers flowing
a challenge to others
an obstacle
the great wall
whose glance
which dance
wins the war
illusions all
the wall does not exist
it does not cease to be
yet never free
illusions created
around it
confine and define it
always hiding
its truth

the story lingers
fingers upon my keys
letters of light
upon a screen
ink and lead dead
no longer marry the wood
paper of the past
cast aside
bodies of trees
allowed to grow
sowing new seeds
good bad
peaceful sad
is there a truth
in the sea of thoughts and trees
do all the parts of my computer
free the trees to grow
could i ever know
the truth
in which which I try
and free my mind
insane
the game i play
with myself

now instead
i breathe
into the freedom
of living
in the fullness of everything
the emptiness of it all
where my heart seeks nothing
and knows it all
clarity arising
knowing only
itself

oh what freedom
to eat food
savor flavors
outside the mind
eager to chew
to pieces
shred with delight
every bite
into the good bad right wrong
the songs never ending
doctors and diets
the planet organizations
all wanting a piece of me
confusion and stress
the old digesters

not today
instead i play
inside the freedom
of it all
and nothing
in the moment
savoring the flavors
awareness
breathing me home
one breath at a time

oh god
to be free
to be me
could i but live
in this dream
is there hope
a place in which
i ceased to value
all things
splitting apart
the whole
into pieces
as if
it were mine
to control
have i done this to myself
as well
is this where i dance
the new dance
free of life’s trances
now knowing
going forward
into truth
involves dissolving
myself
into nothingness
and everything

whose voice
do i hear
appearing behind the mirror
those defining glances
the trance of not thin enough
beauty defined
dissected then respected
magazines and books and looks
knives in my eyes
bleeding I lie
upon the ground
of others battlefields
the bloody stains
burying the truth
how many times
have i wanted to die
unable to meet
the unrealistic dreams
of others
i used to define myself

how can Uniqueness
Authenticity
be measured by any scale
without confining
limitlessness
inside boxes
unlimited
is beyond measure
the real treasure
of life
each tree
each leaf
each snowflake
each ant
each whale
each me
one of a kind
always transforming
the scene

the ocean’s
ever transforming waves
wash free my mind
their roaring voices
deaden the noise of my
fingering the keys of my computer
sitting in the car
breezes blowing through  me

i am not a name
i play no game
never the same
i am that i am
the sea
the ocean
calling me
regardless the world
the culture
the song
words no longer define
i call myself nothing
rearranging myself
only for me
free just to be
in the moment
flowing freely

look beyond words
live the essence of you
free of words
confinements of any kind
like the breeze
flow like the leaves
life carries you along
the song is yours
the tears
beholding your own truth

there are moments now
in which i wonder
how many times have i lived
my truth
how many moments
have i been held prisoner
living someone else’s ideas
of perfection
proper dress
eating what someone else
thinks
tastes good
is good for me
my body and my uniquedness
whose standards am i attempting to live up to
whose definitions
am i hanging myself by
killing myself with
denying
my own uniqueness
not living my authenticity
there is no one else
wearing my face
my body
my own precious presence
i need to create my own
eating and sleeping
laughing and crying
living and dying rules of play
live myself
for myself
and no one else
do i get sick because of me
of the ideas i have eaten from
someone else’s book of rules
have i taken their beliefs
and made them my own
i know when i eat in public
i am always feeling the gaze
even if not there
someone is watching and judging me
i will be free now
no longer caring
whose staring
for only my eyes
matter
creating the space
of nothing
of emptiness
into which I pour myself and arise
ever dancing
with what isi live inside my own prison
its time to walk through a new door
one which asks ME
what feels good to ME
what tastes good to ME
what looks good to ME

angels guides helpers god
before turning off the computer
do you have anymore suggestions about living my own life for a change  how to begin  where to begin i have no idea where i have been myself and where i have been otehrs  i am reallly not sure  i am asking for guidance before i leave  before my batteries are used up  do i need to take a walk rest go to the bathroom  ca you guide me take photos i have not taken any i believe