On the surface of reality today, I upgraded my iPhoto program and several months of photos disappeared. Nothing in the trash in iPhoto or my computer. I have Time Machine and they were gone there too, even though all my other documents from this time are there in the right folders. I am the believer of “no accidents” and I remained calm. I go inside, trusting, knowing there are answers within.
I am told …. In reality, there is No Time and so the photos always exist outside of time. I can create any story I want and live that “story” however, somewhere they always exist, because all time IS now. What story do I want to live? It is merely our point of view which transforms this experience into something else.
We live in an illusion and pretend it is real. Even science tells us there is more space between the cells of our bodies, and all of life, than there is solid matter. If we could believe, we could walk … through walls. Nothing exists except what we all create as we go along, and nothing is forever! Our bodies change with every breath we take, cells dying and being born anew. No two moments are identical. We are, and forever will be, evolving and changing. Some of our great teachers tell us we create the very fossils and bones which we so eagerly dig up later on to explain ourselves to ourselves! Who knows for sure?
Can we sit inside this moment and wonder why we take things so seriously? What if … we are making it ALL up as we go along? Suppose we were having so much fun inside our creations we forgot who we truly were, and became lost inside our own fantasy?
What is really lost and found? Lately that seems to change from one day to the next in my life! Most recently I laid down 2 gold wire heart shaped earrings made by a friend. When I went to pick them up and put them away there was only 1 gold whale earring instead. I stared at the earring for a moment, picked it up and walked into my bathroom. The other whale earring was there and 1 of the heart earrings. Nowadays, I just smile at it all, wondering what is “real” and what is not, and are there really words to describe what I am experiencing anymore?
Perhaps I am on the journey of letting go of what I think I know, and entering the dimension of awe and wonder again, explored by the mind free of stories and the old games it used to play? Maybe I am testing myself, asking questions and then “living the answers “as Rilke to beautifully put it many decades ago. Beginning to enter that door of Miraculous Infinite Possibilities where I must once again shed all that I am and know, stepping into new, open and vulnerable, creating fresh garments to adorn this physical vehicle in an enchanting new garden of Eden!
Smiling with wonder, Morgine
July 3, 2011